Adventures of Jeff & Thea Ford (‘03 to ‘09)

The following is a collection of work by Jeff Ford (www.myspace.com/jeffreyford)… the songs, poetry, and random journal entries were created between 1995 & 2001…

 

A Missionary

The world says all we need to be happy

is 2 cars, 1 house, and a pool in the back

But I know better than that ( x2 )

I don’t see myself chasing the American dream

Down a road that leads to emptiness in the soul

 

I want to be a missionary

I want to be a missionary

’cause God doesn’t call the qualified

God qualifies the called

 

Am7 – Em7 / Am7 – F // F – C – F – G

SOMETHING BETWEEN US

Are we bargaining with untruth

Trading our lives for the lies

Rowing our boats into waters

Black and deep and far from land

 

It’s not that we haven’t asked for your help

It’s not that we want to leave you far behind

But there’s something between us

There’s something between us

 

Something between creation and creator

Something between man and woman and their God

We’re being choked out by sins

We just want to start again

Oh God, cleanse us from all this

 

Are we chasing after the winds of the world

Running a race we should not be in

Playing games everyday

When we should stay away

 

DENIAL

In a room too large for our small circle of people and chairs

The session begins with an introduction by a middle-aged woman

Her hair is a dark tone of auburn

She has neatly painted red nails and lipstick

Her eyes are green and her voice is Marlboro scared

Her name is Rosa

The other names of the nine spin around me

I only remember three

Don is the oldest in the group

His mustache is white like his thick head of hair

He is from Florida, and he wishes he could go home today

He says he knows he needs to be here

Alice is a soft-spoken divorced mother of three

She speaks briefly of her children and mother

She questions the need for her presence her today

Lance was the final person to introduce himself to the group

He is tightly fixed in the cushioned folding chair

His eyes are shifty like his voice

He looks to me like the only person with a real problem

Except for the lady sitting beside Alice 

 

 

Whatever Happened (revisited)

Whatever happened to the season of love we shared

Spent under a midnight sky, you held me in your arms

Whatever happened to the world that we once knew

We were standing so very close all throughout the night

 

Now I’m only a heart that’ hard, seeking you healing hands

I am only a heart that is hard, seeking your healing hands

 

Whatever happened to the life we had planned out

It was all so crystal clear, but now that life is gone

And whatever happened to the hand that was placed in mine

I am looking all around, but you are nowhere to be found

 

Falling Away

You once believed more than anything else

That He was yours and you were His

You once stood firm like a city on a hill and

The flavor of life was enriched by the way

You had chosen

 

Now…you’ve gone away, far from what you once held so tight

Now…you’ve joined in on life’s charades, and you’re giving up

 

You said a prayer long ago

To a God you did not know

You offered up yourself to Him

But now you don’t see anything

Anything you did before or

Anything that’s ahead of you

Your doubts and lack of concern

Are leading you away from all that is true

 

It’s like swirling in a funnel of confusion, spin round and round and round and round

It’s like taking your eyes off the shoreline, out at sea

Without a compass, you have only the waves to guide you

You have only the waves to take you to an unknown destination

 

Verses penned during the summer of 1996 in Northeast Pennsylvania:

6 – 2

The Idea : Me

Designed with a purpose

To live and to serve under a sky of many colors

Believing the truth and living the truth

Seeing others for who they really are

And not for who they are not

I’m empty without my shepherd

He is the only true protector of my soul

So here I stand willing and waiting

Waiting for that still sweet voice

The voice of God (Father, Son, and Holy Ghost)

 

6 – 3

“That I am here is a wonderful mystery to which I will respond with joy.” – Friend of the Heart

I’m here in a place far from home

In a distant land, away from familiarities

And here there is a peace that surrounds me

Accompanying peace is a breeze of anticipation

What will I do? Where will I go? Who will I meet?

These things I do not know

 

6 – 4

The challenge: To lead ? people to Christ.

How many? However many I feel god wants me to set a goal for.

Prayer: Dear God,

          I’ve never directly prayed with someone for them to be saved. I would love to do it this summer if it’s Your will. Please show me what you would want in this area of ministry (evangelism) for me.                                                                                 

 

 

The Depth of Me

The depth of me only goes so deep

Many thoughts I hold I only keep

Instead of caring, instead of sharing

But the depth of He who lives in me

Is growing strong, is gaining speed

I’ll show others Christ when

I let Him lead

 

6 – 5

Penn…Co

I gave my heart to her

Only because I love her

She is true beauty

Words cannot describe…

My path is lit by God’s Word

Such as the path of she

We’ve been sent in different directions

To get away from a relationship

Stained with imperfections

And in God’s time we will inevitably

Unite. (possibly?)

 

6 – 6

Criminals need Jesus

They just don’t know

The world has torn down

Every inch of their souls

An example hung on this

Tree you see

Next to the Living God

And this Savior took this

Man with Him

To live in paradise

  

6 – 7

I open the letter and peer inside

It speaks of worries, it speaks of doubt

And I want to be there, but I’m left without

Without your smile, without your embrace,

The hurts you hold, I want to erase

Why this storm has rained down on you, I do not know

Maybe it’s dark so you can grow

I know that you are reaching for the light

And you want to do what is right

So seek and you will find

And leave the hurts far behind

 

 

6 – 8

SWAY

Minding my time

Wishing for a rush

And my focus isn’t as clear

As it could be, if I’d trust

So I lay all these things at the Father’s feet again

And by making an effort I will avoid sin

Sins of confusion, sins that hurt hearts

From all these things, I hope to depart

 

6 – 9

Disgrace

When I’m standing in the spot light

The crowd is unseen

Because the beam burns so brightly

But when I step off the stage

And empty all I hold in my hands

That’s when I see clearly

That’s when I’m humble

And my feet don’t seem to stumble

And God is in the middle of the life

That I live and His Spirit guides me

Through the forest I wander

So get off the pedestal

You’ve been placed upon

And make a real difference

So you can avoid some disgrace

 

6 – 10

A Real Love

Your message in a bottle

Has made its way into my hand

I read your sun-dried lines of love

And I know it’s for real

So I take some time to pause and think

And smile because I know it’s real

 

6 – 10

Way Out

Doing what I know is not the best thing to do

Feeling unsure of why I am falling again

Knowing the answer to my endless problem (the thorn)

Then simply turning to my risen Lord

Quoting Philippians, quoting Corinthians

And listening to the tender voice

The voice that points a way out

 

6 – 11

(I am Here) Friend

Pass me by, let me lie, I’ll be alright

Mess me up, tear me down, I’ll be around

Nothing’s gonna change, everything’s the same

I’m not a fair-weather friend anymore

You can always find me at your door

So I’ll wait, I’ll even stand out in the rain

I’m on my knees for you, calling out

Wishing you better days, offering an intercession

And my shoulder is always here

And when you need a listening ear

And when things just don’t seem to go your way

Remember I am here

 

6 – 12

Stay Near

Feeling so built up, feeling so strong

I’m not as mighty as I might think

Without going to God for strength

I’m only a flimsy disguise

And the truth about me will surely be revealed

Unless I hold on to Jesus with everything I’ve got

 

 6 –13

Always

When you invade me, when you show up unexpectedly

When I’m all alone and I hear your knock

 

When things don’t seem they will get any better

Then you arrive and bring peace

When I’m wishing for your voice

and you come calling

Sometimes I am overwhelmed

Sometimes I shake in fear

Sometimes I bow down in silence

Yet always you are near

 

6 – 15

The bell sound

And we all shuffle around

Time has no sensitivity

I am awake wishing for sleep

My hopes are still on the rise

My peace has surrounded me once again

I’m going to do what I’m going to do

God will mold my tomorrows with his hands

 

6 – 16

Prodigal Heart / Forgiveness

He goes his own way, leaves the truth he knows and reveals his misery

Because he has nothing left, because he is empty in his sin

He scurries back home (tail between his legs)

And to his surprise the Father calls for a celebration

And to his surprise the world is new again

I will never wander back into that forest of sin

Some would say that he shouldn’t receive such grace

But God loves the good and the rebel,

The weak and the strong

Jesus yearns to remove all your wrongs

 

6 – 18

(To Show You) The Son

Standing outside your door

I do not know you and yet I say that I love you

We just want to show your children the Light

But you are understandably timid

We’d like to introduce you to a friend

His name is Jesus, and unlike any other man

He died for your sins, and unlike any other man

His love never ends

Slamming the door in my face is only rejection

I hope you get another chance

To receive His gift called perfection (the Son)

 

6 – 19

Change of Heart

Day 17

It’s been a little while and almost a month since I’ve seen her

Unless you count all those times I’ve stared into these picture frames

What a day it will be…the day we will see each other again

The day I can hold her hand in mine

The day I can see her picture perfect smile

Change will occur in both our hearts once we spend this time apart

I believe we will see each other more like God would have us to

My prayer is that a purer love will break through

A love like in Corinthians, a love with deeper dimensions

 

6 – 20

Thank you

Time flew

Birds sang

My eyes see clearer now

I do realize this is a narrow way

But God…He paves the way

So I’m without much

And yet I still lack nothing

Everyday is when I feel the Father

Thank you for this day

 

6 – 21

Remembering Fear (the times I was not near)

The past creeps up in the currents of my memories

A past that I am not proud of

A past that I am ashamed of

A past that sometimes I am afraid of

Looking back it’s hard to believe that I have come so far

Looking back it’s easy to see that only God could have changed my heart

I was in a state of pitiful self-centeredness

I was in a state of confusion and doubt

I was at a place of a spiritual abandoning

So God showed me a way out

So God restored my soul

So God erased my sin…again

And Jesus is who I serve instead

And my life is directed by the Holy One

The Father in heaven is calling us all

To up this world and take up our cross

 

6 – 23

Brother Dave

Like many men I have spoken to:

He has a heart of gold

Humble and burning with God’s Holy Love

His eyes are set on things above

A strong father to his children

An earnest husband to his wife

Christ is shining in brother Dave’s life

So let me learn a thing or two

From the many men, like Dave, who follow You

  

6 – 24

Illogical Love

Why God loves like He does

Puzzles me, astounds me, and bends my mind

I do not see the logic in His love

To die on a cross, for a senseless sinner

To face the agony and disgrace, for me

Jesus, You are my Lord

Died for me, so let me live for You

Let my words glorify Your name

Let my actions reflect the direction of Your Spirit

Why God loves me like He does

I do not have a clue

Since I really have nothing special to offer

The power of love conquers all my worthless doubts

I will forever worship the completeness of the Trinity

The Father who gave His Son and sent His Spirit

I praise You, now and forever

 

 

6 – 25

Broken and Searching

Indecisive motions

Unfinished tapestry

All of these descriptions are intertwine

At threshold of your distant glance

I’m held in your hand, unmovable, tranced,

Consumed by the dance of the candle that you burn

I await my orders, from one who deserves no allegiance

Bound up in this web of her fleeting attention

“Leave me be”

“Let me lie”

With unknown strength I cry

Irritated and rejected my deception flees

And silent innocence replaces all sorrow

So I’m calling out to an unknown power

Praying to Jesus

Searching for answers

 

6 – 27

Unbought Book

Here I am again

Sitting in silence…my world is standing still

Another day draws to its ending

Another recorded message I’m sending

Its address is assumingly unknown

But I discovered one thing in this season of peace

This pen I hold does ease my soul

Sometimes I force my many words

And sometimes they fall like the winter snow

Abstract commentaries, written prayers,

Fate’s itinerary, joy and despair,

They all flow from this ink stick I grip

Explanations of my heart come often from my lips

But when words are displayed in this gallery of thought

History is created and arranged in a book that’s unbought

On this day Jeff Price excepted Christ as His Lord and Savior

  

6 – 29

Simplicity

Jesus paid the price

His Love can result in salvation

If you will believe and receive

 

 

Prayer to His Spirit

An unfinished work lies in the depths of my being

As I bow my head and close my eyes

With folded hands I pray

Change this broken sinner

Clean out my filthy mind

Holy Spirit, I call to you for refuge

I call to You for everything I need

Let my desires be a mere reflection

Let my eyes see clearly now

Eliminate the anxious heart

And replace it with peace

Paint your picture of peace

Relieve my heartaches

Remove another mistaken perception

Teach me what it is to love

Show me how to be a man of God

 

7 – 1

All of Us

A hardened heart, a lack of desire, a broken spirit, an empty stare, a senseless word, a cold response

This is the world in which we live…Believers among a multitude of these…These who do not know…

These who do not know Christ

These who do not know the spice of Life

A completeness, a Holy Fire, a guiding light, an abundance of peace, an unending grace, a smiling face

 This is the hope we have…we have a purpose…we will reach the lost…we will show them Jesus…

With His blood we’ve all been bought

 

7 – 2

These three that know me well:

My brother: Scott

Showing young hearts the way,

Growing stronger in the faith,

Never giving up on a brother in need

My Father: Dad

Being firm in the instructions he gives,

On his knees for a wandering son,

Loving in all circumstances

My Love: Thea

Strong when he is weak,

Pointing him to the cross,

Showing the joys of a disciplined life

In Christ

 

7 – 4

The Forth

America

God’s country

And yet many Americans do not know their maker

Jesus

He is the answer for America

He is the answer for the world

He is the answer

 

7 – 5

This Day

Day spent – My brother at my side

Talking, laughing, watching the world go by

Day spent – My dad shows me the world

I look to him with admiration

Day spent – With Jesus in my heart

This life will never cease to amaze me

God’s love dwells within

 

  7 – 7

Tonight I refused to listen

My weakness was revealed

I took my eyes off Jesus

I ran away from Him

And now the consequences

Consequences are, for the most part, unknown

Why I wallow in confusion, that lead to doubt

And pain and a crippling of my heart and soul?

I still do not know

What is forgiveness?

It is simply Jesus

What is a victory?

Other than the avoidance of defeat

Victory is tomorrow, only if I’ll let Him lead

 

7 – 9

Decisions, decisions, decisions

Listen and obey or go the other way

Nineveh or Tarshish

Accept the call or neglect the call

Asleep in the bottom of the boat

Unaware of the storm, maybe that’s me

 

7 – 11

(Camp Observation)

What a week it has been,

The laughter is still ringing in my ears

The sun is still shining in my eyes

The love is still dwelling in my heart

Out here it’s easy to enjoy every moment

Out here there are no distractions

Yet there are no differences in reality

I watch these children’s faces day after day

They have an enormous capacity to learn,

To love, to see things clearly, and understand truth

If only we had the faith of these little children

Then life could be more like an amusement park

And less like a struggle in the dark

 

7 – 13

The Word or the World

The word or the world which will I trust

The word offers me an earthly replenishment

The world offers only temporary peace,

Fleeting amusements, and ultimately only emptiness

The word promises an eternity with my Maker

The world sees life as a hopeless array of pointless

achievements and yet it is glorified by the masses

I someone would help them see (see clearly)

Who will open their eyes to the word?

 

7 – 14

2 Questions and some Rotten Fruit

Sounds of a song fumble around in the air

The steady beat of a snare coupled with some lyrical question

The music moves as the words scroll across the summer sky

“What are we looking for?”

“How long before we turn the knob to a new door?”

The poet and the prancers haven’t found the answers yet

The poet and the prancers have a gift under the tree of life

That has not been opened

Maybe the present is covered with some fallen fruit

Maybe this gift can’t be seen due to the rotten old

That covers it up to the bow

Maybe someone should do some gardening

  

7 – 16

Sometimes / Some things

Sometimes life just flies on by

And sometimes we stand and wait

Some things all fall into place

But everyday can’t be your best

And everyday can’t be your worst

So don’t worry so much when life’s not fair

‘Cause some things never change,

but some things is not your day

 

7 – 19

The Games

Tonight I watched the nations dance

In a field of glory they glowed so bright

It was a sight to see

I heard the sounds of unity

There is a common ground that we all share

Every person Everywhere

My Bible tells me we all need Jesus

Because He gives us the abundance of life

That will save us from ourselves

So we play the games of life

Remember this as Truth:

Without Jesus and without the hope He gives,

The peace you find will surely be short-lived

  

7 – 30

Nothing Else

Our time on earth is short

Only a few days we are to spend here

Sometimes I think I’ve got it all figured out

Sitting in my living room, bible open, the words

Erasing my doubt

Sometimes I lay awake in my bed

Feelings so unsure of everything I thought I knew

It’s not me who holds the answers

It is He who is the truth, for that is what He stands for

Only thing I know is what the Bible tells me so

So let’s all try a little harder

And aim a little higher

And see a little clearer

For it is what God desires

That matters and nothing else

 

7 – 31

Prayer Away

Whenever you want to see the Son

Just drop to your knees and come undone

Close your eyes and open your heart

Jesus will give you a brand new start

You’ll find Him when you seek Him true

Seek him with all of your heart

That’s all you’ve got to do

He’s not too far away

No matter what they might say

Jesus is only a prayer away

 

8 – 6

Life of Love

I want to live a life of love I want to follow the example given from above

Oh sweet love, ’cause I’m nothing without Jesus

All my motives will lead to no where unless I take His hand

I want to…

 

 

 

Clipboard:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Robinson’s TEN

 

Remembered          (1)

Brown speckled walls holding the moment

I remember every bit of those days

You were the light in the distance

Beaming bright and orange

You’d care when no one else could

I sense the loss every time I catch a glance

Of the faded photograph

It’s still lying on the shelf

Why? Why do I stand alone?

I remember when I held the hand of yours

If you could move yourself to silence

I’m sure you would remember

So let me wave good-bye to the past

we once shared. I’m saying goodbye.

Good-bye to another who once cared

Did you move from emptiness to a pleasant place or did you carry yourself

To a lonely world void of taste.

 

 

Sour                      (2)

I know the truth about your soul

You seem like a good listener, so,

I know how long you loved me, too,

So why don’t you let me let go, of you,

This thing we had last year, last month,

Or last week… this thing, it’s gone

And now I’m so incomplete

This is the end of another journey

I guess we’re just another dead end street

Sour as a grapefruit, we seem

So sickly and sad.

You’re walking your way

And I sit, still mad

Feel the burn of a broken heart

Search for another place to start

Whatever happened to the way

You laughed at me in the rain

Whatever happened to the flame

That lit up the sea; Gone sour,

Dead like an un-watered flower.

 

 

Pretend                  (3)

I packed my bags yesterday only ’cause you asked me to

I thought I’d died yesterday only ’cause you pulled the trigger

 

So come on around I’ll fake another grin that’s what you want for me to pretend

I’ll take the time to say what I say so  come on around but don’t look this way

 

 

Wicks                    (4)

The candle burns down to the core

Leaves wax on the dusty floor

She takes it back to the deep dark room,

To watch the fire dance

 

Eyes fixed in an eerie trance

The truth has not escaped her yet

Let the flame burn until the wick is no more.

 

 

Quietly                  (5)

All these homely creatures

Standing in the hallways

And passages unknown

Waiting for nothing, nothing at all

Pausing for extremes, quietly

 

Leaving crumbled conversations

Among my so called friends

A people with no hope for the future

Holding on to the silence that fills your heart and mine. Waiting, simply waiting

 

For a spark

Quietly, quietly, standing, sitting, sleeping, feeling, quietly

 

 

Resting Field                   (6)

Running around in circles

Seeing things unclear

Playing a piano

Shadows felt in fear

Is it me?      Is it you?

Do I know what’s coming soon?

Do you know tomorrow?

What’s in store for the children?

What’s the last page say?

 

Leave yourself in the resting field

To lie down in the golden ground

To breathe in the purest air

To lay quiet in the sun’s bright beams

Feeling only peace, this brief release 

 

  

Bamboo Girl           (7)

Thin and quiet, she

Always keeps her silence

I want to converse

With this girl named Lou,

All my friends say her legs

Look like bamboo. Long

And straight, I will agree,

But see my legs too look

Like skinny little trees.

Please bamboo girl,

Want you go out with me,

Go out with me please, please,

Please, bamboo girl,

Want you go out with me.

 

 

Somebody’s Song             (8)

Who are you?

Who am I?

Sometimes you wonder why.

I’m searching for somebody.

I think you’re somebody.

Give me a bag of quiet conversation,

I’ll tell you all of my frustrations.

 

 

Old Shoes              (9)

Wearing a darker shade than those

My feet sing in the pair I love most

I got on my old shoes, the ones I

Always wear.

 

My old shoes carry me

Down many city streets, they feel so

good on my feet. I wear my old shoes. Where will they carry me?

 

 

Grinning       (10)

All I need is what I need

All I want is a sunny day

All I say is what must be said

 

You can’t see unless you close your eyes

A smile will rocket up your cheeks

You’ll free fall into peace

when you cast every thought

on this holy ground

You will feel a love that’s real.

Change your life.

Change your mind.

 

Dandle-dee, dandle-dee, who are we?

This life keeps me grinning

The Son keeps me smiling

They might want to wipe

the smile off my face

But I’ll be grinning 

Until my final day.

 

 

Clipboard::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

 

Fortified

The belly of a black hole sky

Spins down toward my brow

The air is thin, and

I struggle for another breath

 

What is the reason for this gathering

Of an endless crowd? They all search

For a more integrated life. A life

Worth leading rather than following

 

The empty feeling

The soundless night

An empty expression

Which can only leave me … alone.

 

 

Nothing Here        

(verses : Em-D-G-A)

Since then I have seen many sights

My eyes have tasted beauty renewed

I’ve journeyed outside the lines

Lines drawn by the world

 

So we can reinvent our way of life

We can light a candle in the night

And sing about the twist & turns

And dance the dance that we have learned

 

(chorus: C-D-G-A)

I’m happy here

I’m joyful here

That’s what it’s all about

Nothing takes me like you do

Nothing here. Nothing here.

 

(bridge)

It’s not over yet

You see the sun still shines

So for an hour or maybe 2

We’ll continue to twist & turn

 

 

Without Him

Don’t tell me you’re without sin

Don’t tell me you can live without Him

 

Captured by His mercy & grace

I call out in this quiet place

 

Without Him nothing made sense

Without Him every sound was just noise

All laughter led to tears

I was blanketed by my fear

 

Without Him

Without Him

Without Him

 

 

Christ

On the cross

It was almost evening

Was a man

Called Him the King of the Jews

 

Some mocked Him and cursed Him

Some spit in His face but still a hurt

Jesus pleaded their case

 

Jesus Christ

Son of Man

I know

I know

You’ll be back again.

 

 

Foolish Interpretations

Forever I wait for you;

These simple words make little

Of the immensity of this moment

The gaze you cast my way

Leaves me frozen inside.

 

The walking has worn my feet;

Reality that is far from kind

Is all you have offered over

Be still enough so I can catch you

But do not wait on my

foolish interpretations

 

 

Rest in the Garden

My feet rest in the garden you tend

Between waist-high sunflowers

I await the cast of your innocent gaze

You came at me with little hesitation

And you spoke the softest words

The gaze you cast leaves me frozen

Holding Your Hand

He won’t let you fall

Cause He’s holding your little hand

He won’t let you go

He’s right there beside

 

And when it seems there’s no tomorrow

And the loads too great to bear

Won’t you give it all to Jesus

And He will be there

 

Follow Him with every step you make

In the days ahead

Remember Him with every breath you take

And he will be there

 

“When a man’s steps follow the Lord, God is pleased with his ways. If he stumbles, he will not fall, because the Lord holds his hand.  Psalm 37:23-24

“If one of you is having troubles, he should pray. If one of you is happy, he should sing praises. James 5:13

 

 

Inverses

Inside out and upside down

Eyebrows rise in hope

Of a better understanding

The accumulated knowledge

That I have attained have slowly

Reversed many of my expectations

I no longer intend on searching

For more power and money

Much of my time is now spent

On a search for significance

On an expedition of excitement

On a journey through my thoughts

 

Day of Sunrise

The orange mass descends over mountain crest the circle edges silently in its moment of purity like a messenger he beckons the moon this simple request sends the night’s light westward continuing downward the sun bids farewell the baby blue expanse the many slender clouds draw toward the sky’s fire and for twelve hours the universe’s brightest star will not sing its song

 

The Scattered Papers of Ninety Six

Appreciation to the Skies

Can you see inside the sky tonight

Where blue can fade to black

And stars scatter the heavens

Like jacks on the floor

Picture the world without heavens above

A house without a roof

A table with no top

If earth was to be this way

All we see would seem dark and gray

 

Untitled 1

I add to this collection of stories told and forgotten

Sensing your lack of attention I stop with the details

But no one notices

And we all fall asleep in the silence that haunts us

 

Untitled 2

With nothing to hide anymore

I empty my heart into her open doors

She gathers my thoughts with a listening ear

And with loving arms she holds me near

 

Untitled 3

Love is

Reason enough to carry the fire, when faces of sadness

Surround you someday because of their hope in what

You believe you can touch all those who have been deceived

Chattering smiles will line up between each pair of cheeks

After they hear this message of glory that you speak

Once you open the door they’re sure to flock in

One by one there will be forgiveness of sin

 

Untitled 4

Surprise I open my eyes

and where this moment of time is filled with only what I can guess there is more in store for you and me More of the light that guides our way Even more adventures in this world we’re living on A sense of expectancy fills our hearts while we wait patiently

 

 

Bottled up Dreams  (incomplete)

Sometimes I look around a

When I picture my e

So to say I And its T

 

HiGHWiRE

Walk with balance, No steps are taken without the fear of

Falling, close behind, with your eyes aimed ahead never glancing down

Always keeping focus while everyone else just looks around

You are determined to keep a steady pace

And the times that you’d fallen all seem to be erased

It was 100 years ago or maybe yesterday

When you fell doesn’t matter, because the price is paid

So keep your hopes high and never look down

His hands will not allow you to fall to the ground

 

Hum …You have dreams of someone who is so far unseen

Someone to share the best and worst of times ahead

Someone to stand by your side as you begin to hum

 

Don’t Giveuponme

I know that you have a plan

And I know I must take a stand

So please dontgiveuponme

 

Simple Enough

The wind carries my thoughts over the streets of my past

Memories of an empty life that I once led send chills of regret

Down my soul, recalling now, it seems as though I had lost my mind

It took awhile to realize that wrong was wrong and the only good is God’s

If His hand is not in it there is often a loss of innocence

It must be a day by day thing, to live and serve and understand the m Master’s plan

Simple enough for you Simple enough for me to fight while on our knees

 

This rebellion I’ve formed against you

You: my Savior and my friend

These forces in my heart that hurt you

You: who wants only the best for me

I am empty without you Why do I do these things,

these evil plots Against my soul

I’m losing the strength of a lifetime commitment

I’m going numb in the deepest places

I’ve lied to and forsaken the deepest love of all (You)

Knowing little about anything now

The doubts fall as would a winter hail storm

Bruising me in my shameful nakedness

Almost to the point of unconsciousness

Hope drips down like a leaky faucet

The hope of better days The hope of redemption

I’ll hear this hope in utter silence

But the noise of this world will try

To prevent me from listening to the sweet sound of salvation

Confession flows from these lips of mine

And your forgiveness stretches into infinity

Over my scared and broken heart

Over my body, over my tears

Your sunrise brings light once again

Your power brings my selfish game to a

Much needed end

Walk in the Park

Mostly empty stares

With what is next to ponder

There are a few smiling faces

Which is quite a relief from the usual

They carry complex thoughts

in their heads and book bags 

These searchers of truth will find

All they are looking for when they

Look to the Son

When I look into the past

It’s hard to understand

Why I lived so long

Away from what would last

Now looking at my feet

As they’re planted in the truth

I can only greet the future

With delight and happiness

God shines on me with every breath

Because of His Son Jesus

He erases all mistakes

 

When I look into my past

It’s hard to understand

Why I lived so long

Under clouds of emptiness

 

God pulled me out of a sticky situation

Wiped away my faults and brought to me salvation.

The more I let God be the biggest part of me

The more clearly I will see my brothers’  needs.

 

Come In

The door is wide open, would you like to come in I know it’s cold and damp outside, but it’s warm in here I know that all your friends are there but true love awaits you here

And the struggle may take awhile, but how long have you got? If you keep one foot outside the door once you enter in then you’re selling yourself short by continuing in sin

 

Decision time

I walk in the silent streets

The faces I see are empty

They don’t know what they need

I wonder who will tell them

Of the story that I heard

Maybe someone will show them

The truth about this world

Who’s gonna tell them

Our time is short here

 

So what’s it gonna be

Will you build your wealth up

For seventy years or so

Or will you give up

all your treasures

 

Go to where your heart is leading

Go to God and He’ll give you true meaning

 

 

 

Bring me Back

Living life without the light

Without the flame

That once burned bright

Left me cold, left me alone

 

So bring me back

(to the life I once knew)

Bring me back

(to my childlike faith)

So I can stand

(that I may not fall)

So I can answer

(Your loving Call)

 

Giving in to every temptation

Caused only pain, doubt, & frustration

 

Random Thanks

Thank you for all you do

Give me the will to do your will

Thank you for all those who love me too

Give me the love to show your love

Your power is infinite

          It holds such a brilliant light

In the mist of this worldly darkness

Paradise is drawing nearer everyday

Who’s to know which leg I’m standing on

(my last?)

Maybe I’ll live to be a ripe 103, and maybe just 33…

It doesn’t much matter, it’s all the same,

as long as I wear His name

 

 

User

God gave you a voice, and you know you’ve gotta use it

So will you speak about His Son

Will you speak about His Love

Will you speak about the time

He saved your precious soul

 

God gave you a heart, and you know you’ve gotta love

So will you love all those you see

A stranger in the street

The lost and dying world

Needs you and me

And especially Jesus

 

 

Feeling Senseless

Me and my thoughts, feeling alone

Wishing for tears, but none will flow

I know now what’s really important

So why do I often forget

 

  

 

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One of those Days

Just one of those days

When I walk with my eyes shut tight

(moving down a path that’s straight)

Just one of those days

When I am led by faith

(much like the man you’ve made me to be)

It’s just one of those days

 

Do I really see what’s right in front of me?

The weeks roll by and my accomplishments are few

There’s more than a rat race

There’s more than tradition religion

There’s more out there for you and me

There is a challenge for us all

 

Call yourself Christian but run from the truth

Say you’re on a mission but yet you never leave your corner

You’re problem is the same as mine, you don’t want to lose

Your place in line

 

 

Scenes from Jerusalem     (3/7/96)

Drops of Blood on His Brow

Tears of Pain

Gather in the Savior’s Eyes

Through His Death

He showed us the Love of God

Oh, What a Sacrifice

He stood in the Face of Death

Looked Death Straight in the Eyes

And on the 3rd Day . . .

He came back to Life

 

 

???

Out from the paste-E cellar walls

That’s not my song it’s yours 

What was it she said before she left

Ice in the fireplace smoking in silence

Long night ahead

 

CLIPBOARD:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

 

Listener

Wind without the warmth of summer, shadows downward into the soul

His heart is snagged by the words of a speaker

Persuaded by the words of someone’s echoing voice

The chattering speech projects fragments of motivation

Now with ample moral, he will journey to the outside

Leaving the inside, gradually, gladly

Feeling as though he has been awakened by a sound deep within

His soul it is crying out for an unknown destination

So the search can now truly begin, and no more hopelessness

Will surround the heart of this listener

It is only integrity that may bring a change of heart

 

  

Center of the Universe

Round and round, in circles, in darkness

Eyes turned to planets of many colors

Breathe in air inside this fish tank of dreams

Atmospheric, spherical, transparent, floating

Peace dwells peace within it; comes from within

The star’s light burns

I’ve come to see the fire of the night

It would blind, it’s beauty would surely

Obscure the vision of it’s viewers

In the middle of magnificence

Solitude I an overwhelming contentment,

With this night where darkness is bright

 

 

Caveman

Caveman, I have found no fire

Your slanted brow and bush beard

Keep me wondering if you’re an invention

I think you would life if you knew of this world

How we all keep to ourselves

Animals in civilized skins

Is it truth or imagination?

There are some that scurry to dig for your bones

The earth is your graveyard, the soil is your home

Caveman, I have found no fire

 

 

 

5-7-5 Haiku for You

 

Staring, broken, eyes

Looking deep, wondering why

They still do not know

 

 

Enchanted focus

A melody of ideas

Their thoughts are piercing

 

 

Shivering sunset

Fire burning in the sky

Sinking, sinking, star

 

 

Curious relic

Unpolished and forgotten

Still holds memories

 

 

Beaming through the blinds

The dancing light entertains

Simple dancing light

 

 

Penning assignments

Weak desire sparked by someone

Someone interesting

 

Feel my Soul

Abandon what you know

Then you will find out

There is nothing more

 

Nothing more than Jesus

Nothing more than His love

 

Nothing more than Jesus

Can feel my soul

Can fill my soul

 

 

She may be beckoning for a flawless hero, but in this town there is no hero. What she is lacking is spelled out on the mirrors’ surface. Loneliness invades her reflection.

A lack of love or lover, a broken and torn remembrance. These thoughts give herself away to anyone who cares or doesn’t.

Healing

She called me yesterday

Didn’t know what to say

Didn’t know what to say

Remember all the times

We were dancing in His arms

We were holding each other’s hands

And we were taking a stand

But since then, yeah we’ve changed

We’ve made so many mistakes

We’ve made so many mistakes

But now it’s time to give it all to Him

I know it’s such a mess

But God can give us rest

He’ll take the pain

He’ll take away the shame

There is power in His name

There is power in His name

 

 

?????

Frozen blue

Her eyes on you

Light through the window

Shining on her

 

Waiting for the Dawn

I’ve listened to the storyteller and heard many of the tales he’s told

I’ve walked in the rain for you, on my knees in an empty parking lot

Have you not come to take me home to fireside’s warmth

 

Cold drifts in easy with invitation in hand. Some creature of creation

A beauty beginning nightfall, with grin and easy thought in mind

I wish the moment could stay a while longer, but dawn will surely fade away

 

Dawn. The pleasant place. Earth’s rebirth. Cast of shadows. In view of a world

Renewed. The time when all is shadow. The sky light has disappeared

 

  

These Days

One day, I would like to walk with you on a pale beach

of silkened sand, there we could stare into oceans

of green and blue, together, alone, standing silent

hand in hand

 

Someday I would like to take a drive with you,

across skies of blue and black, and orange and gray,

across roads carved from gravel, dirt, and broken clay

 

 

Any day you see fit for change, know that I will always

Understand, for good, for bas, whatever it may be

I guess we will just have to wait and see

You and me

 

 

(?)

The Power is out, and you don’t know where the candle is

You live life, scurrying along, moving slowly slowly

Pain’s your game, you wish it would go away

You’re misunderstood, You’re given a chance

And I’m quite, I’m still

Your words, like a blade, cut me, slice me, dice me.

 

????

How can I see the world in front of me

When I’m blind to all the call has given

This voice that carries me

so far so strong so completely

Where would I be if I had not answered

A friend of this station, a friend of creation

Conversations bring out the best of words

When time is moving hurriedly

Pulling all or nothing from these mouths

These findings I haven’t found

 

Searching, searching, searching

Been down this road too many times

I wish I could see but my eyes are blind

I am caught up inside the web I have woven

I would like to get out but I cannot leave

 

The world around me twists and turns

I wonder if I will ever learn

The days are blown by the wind of change

This state of mind is no longer strange

 

I’m breaking apart piece by piece

I’m searching, searching, searching

For some sort of relief

Some sort of release

From the things that keep me down

 

 

I know that you know too

All too well of how I feel

This Little Something

Bending my arms down that can rise above

My head nods down, seeking floor, complete

I fade back to the planet I once rose beyond

Eyes on skies over and under these clouds of Yours

Whispers that shiver that’s when I think I hear You

Light as the mist encircling the ground at my feet

I’m alive – my breath sings a victory song

I can see – clear into night and day’s dance

What I know – is nothing much and a little something

 

This little something I speak about

Gives light unto the world

Erases any doubt

and gives light unto the world

This little something I know

Fades yellow and orange

Wakes up the neighbors

Lights the eyes of many

Brings peace and love

Breaks the heart of many

Changes lives

 

I feel a shallow side inside myself

I think about the distance between us

I know there is just You and me and the 2

There’s always time for something else

There’s forever in the wind You send

Words up above these clouds

This fog of shallow practices

And thoughts I left behind

 

 

16 lines & 8 pair / sketch project

The grin of 1000 questions

You show you smile in wonder

Autumn leaves spin to the earth’s floor

And the mountain looses its rainbow

What you’ve seen trails a brisk path

These thoughts create and action

A congregation plays ring around

While night’s bright light just watches

This reflective glass looks back at you

A yawn, a shake, and cold water on the face

Thunder’s boom wakes up the rain

So water parachutes to the surface once more

With Abe, George, and Andrew in hand

You venture to town for spending delights

Flames bounce up and over the timber

As you lower the pierced puff down on kabob

 

  

STAR – ShiNe 5

1.

Bring in a tattered smile

Into a room that was made for you

I’m not some stupid guy

That’s gonna nod my head

And make you feel fine

2.

I’m in disguise under the

Bright white shine you hung for me

It’s not a lie, it’s just

The face of your mixed up reality

3.

Come stand by me

All night

We’ll  watch the stars

And the thin clouds blow by

4.

Come stay with me

Just me

Not someone else

You thought I’d be

Just me

Come stay with me

5.

Far out beyond all the eye can see

Is a universe of regrets

I’ve thrown away

My yesterdays

 

Running on Empty

 

1

 

          We suffered in our own confusion. We felt abandon by all those who once smiled on us. The mistake was not typical of a young man like myself. I didn’t see it coming. That’s for sure. It all happened so quickly. So now my best friend and I sing down highway 11 in his old blue mazda. Looking for a sunlit world of pineapples and palm trees. A pretty unlikely dream to be chasing, but right now it’s all we’ve got. Hard to believe that only five or six years ago the camel light perfumed passenger that slept soundly beside me was voted most likely to succeed. He gave up any thought of conventional success probably only a few short weeks after our high school graduation.

          “I’m in need of some stay awake conversation”, I mumbled aloud, unaware that anyone was listening to me. My slumbered friend raised an eyebrow and apologized for dozing off. “I’ll talk to you, man.” We were not sure who the couple in the backseat were, but I was pretty sure they weren’t up for a 3:00 am philosophical discussion on musical eras or the debate of classic rock versus sixties singer songwriters’ credibility. They had obviously passed out in the car, and we left in such a hurry neither of us noticed they were back there until we had crossed the state line. I hoped they didn’t mind taking a road trip.

          “James Taylor is a bum,” barked my passenger and best friend. According to Brandon the only thing worse than James Taylor was Don Henley after he left the Eagles. I am amused at the frequency that people discuss movies, music, and the mondane. These are subjects of great importance for college students; however, after graduation, first hand experience of these topics begins to grow more and more thin.

          Another exit ramp was approaching. I made a judgement call and departed from the highway to visit the outskirts of a little town in Oklahoma called Retting. The Exxon sign was on so I figured we could get a couple cups of coffee and stretch our legs for awhile. Brandon took a good look at the guy in the back seat and determined it was probably a friend of Alan’s. Alan was the guy whose house we had been at before our speedy departure. I had gotten in an argument with Alan’s brother Grant. Grant owed me fifty dollars, and I picked a very inopportune time to bring up the debt. The guy was obviously dealing with some anger management issues, so the debate ended in an extremely bizarre manner. It was one of those weird samuri swords you can pick up at a beachside souvenier shop. Someone took off the wall and went to work on Grant. I’m not completely clear on how Grant lost his ear, but as Brandon and I were hurrying out the door, there it was on the green linoleum floor. Pretty weird, huh?

 

 

2 / 96

Mistakes Today

Climbed out of bed this morning

And the regrets of yesterday still linger in my head

As the rain showers down on my face,

          I begin to pray…

And now the sins of my past seem to follow

The dirt and grime down the drain

Never to be seen again

I now must strive not to make those same

Mistakes today

 

 

2/96

Conversations with a Friend

The empty silence that emerges from our conversation

Gives no satisfaction, no comfort, maybe you’ll listen

this time, maybe this time you will yield to our God above

It is not for the good of mankind, myself, or even God’s sake,

Is it not for the benefit of yourself?

Our relationship consist of many years, and yet when

You speak, I hear a stranger’s voice

Remember me, my fellow Christian, my friend in Christ

You were once a soldier, but now the pains of this war

Have left you confused and in doubt

 

 

4/96

*Closer to You*

To wake and view a sunrise

Then close my eyes and realize

I need to be…closer to You

Everyday may be a struggle

Everyday can be lived in fear

But when I see things clearer

I know that You are nearer

I want to be…closer to You

 

And actions speak louder than this simple song

So keep my eyes fixed on the flame

When temptations come I’ll call on Your beautiful name

I want to be closer to You

 

 

4/96

Testimony

The boy’s grin generates smiles on their faces

He inches through an introduction of whos and whys and whens

And then briskly marched into the heart of the matter…

“I placed my trust in the only true hope,

into Christ’s nail scared hands. He saved me.”

In closing the boy issued a short request

To his audience. “Give God your heart.”

He gave those listening ears the Truth. What will they do now?

?*?

Bound by my sinful nature

Blinded by the Darkness

But I was bought with the blood

 

 

4/96

Beyond Yesterday

Yesterday was not unlike many other yesterdays

I spent much of my time inside a cold

And distracting world…by myself, by choice

I didn’t call to the Father for strength

Or for courage, instead I sat around feeling discouraged

Don’t know why I still play this game,

Don’t know why I sometimes hold on to the pain,

But I do know that today doesn’t have to be the same,

So Lord, please search the depths of my soul

Throw out the garbage and help me say “no”

No to the lies, no to the darkness,

No to the sin that I once was stuck in

Even though I’ve been torn down,

And took my eyes off the eyes of God

I can be restored by my Father, Creator, and Lord

So I sing a song to the King of Kings:

Bandage my bruises, sooth the aches

I know now only You can give me strength

The strength of a Christian, because

I can’t keep pretending I’m not:

A child of God, a soldier of Light,

A witness for Jesus, an acceptor of Christ

 

 

2/27/96

Praise to the Giver of all that is Good and Holy

God’s ways are awesome

He gives His children the Word

So they may blossom

Like beautiful flower we unite

In a ceremony of praise

In awe of our Creator, Master,

Savior, and Friend, we stand

Amazed, amazed at His glory

Amazed at His might

He gives us the weapons

To continue the fight

To defend the helpless

When disaster ruches in

To defeat all evil

And the darkness of sin

 

12/95

New Life: Zoe

Give me Zoe

Let it rain down over my soul

A new life

Protector of my soul

Giver of the gift

Christ the Messiah

The new life – Jesus

Giver of another gift

A prayer partner

Even when I’ve no words to pray

The Spirit knows what to say

 

 

 

12/95

Individuality (through Christ)

I’m more      now than I’ve

Ever been     since I saw

 

 

The power    of unending love

A perfect     love, the kind

that takes    a senseless sinner

like me to     salvation and victory

Although      God is not quite

Finished        with me, I’ve

Begun to discover my individuality

 

 

4/96

Slow look

Standing parallel with the stillness of the stream

The water wrinkles and rocks every so often,

A family of mosquitoes rotates in a cyclone of warm summer air

Wild strawberries dance with the naturally groomed blades of green

So I take a seat, and watch the simple scene

With stick in hand I open a window to the ants’ castle

Built under the quiet shade of a sycamore tree

The ants explode in a frenzy of “what to do?!, what to do!?”

I apologize for the disturbance and ascend to my feet;

Now strolling deeper into the magnificent forest of emerald and chocolate

I examine every leaf, every tree, every bug, every animal

And all these creatures of life seem to be enjoying the day.

So why can’t we?

 

4/96

Peace of the Night’s Light

Caught up in the madness,

The pace seems to increase again and again

Wrapped in the worries of tomorrows and today

God give me the peace of the night’s light

Thank you Creator for opening my eyes again

They’ve been closed so long

I was stuck in some sin

You lay on me the conviction

And wipe away any existing addiction

Gave up my pack a day

Glory to You

Gave up some evil ways

Only ’cause You showed me how

But even in those times of trial

I go to You for comfort now

  

 

1/96

for Lance Bezek

To a Brother in Christ

Don’t see you anymore

You went away, to do His will

To follow the Father, to follow His plan

While you’ve been gone, mistakes I’ve made

But through all my troubles, God still paved a way

The way out of misery and despair

Was through taking the hand of the One who cares

He led me back home

He led me to my first love

The Love of Christ

I know I’ll never stray quite so far again

Maybe ’cause I’ve realized that sin is sin

And life is life

And a life of sin, can only cause

Strife

But a life in Christ is decorated

With peace, love, wisdom, and happiness

And that life my friend, as you well know

Will never end

 

5/31/96

Prov 31

She buys the vineyard

Her lamp always shines

Wearing purple

And all alone

Who I’ve been waiting for…

Such a beautiful bride

I love her dearly

For her I would die

My house is empty when she’s not there

She seems to teach me what it is to care

Her fear of God is to be praised

I know her completely

I adore her ways

The reverence of an elder

The faith of a child

She’ll always go the extra mile

 

6/96

Thinking About God and Me

Met a challenge or two or three

Sometimes I feel I’m all alone

Then He is there again, Shining

Brighter than a blinding light

So I bow my head, close my eyes,

And worship Him

My Creator, my Father

My Savior, my Friend

My strength, my courage…Holy Spirit

Then I look up and His presence

Lingers all over the room

I’m changed, I’m restored,

And I’m floored

By His power, by his grace,

By His undying love

 

5/96

American Dream

Silence gathers in the stillness of the atmosphere

Blackness embodies the wallpapered room

Nothingness is all that’s left in the blackout

And the dream begins:

Prancing people, smiles carrying them through a forest

Dancing people, with the peace of a simple life

I’m captured by the happiness we’ve found

In God’s creation

Life is a precious gift

Clarity found in simplicity

5/96

Faithful Heart

My mind is one of a wonderer

Keeping the focus constantly blurred

My heart is pounding out the hurt

I don’t know why I’m such a jerk

If only I could see clearly

These voices run so random

Coming from all directions

I’m still so far from the intended

Perfection  (of a pure heart)

I stand in fair weather

But when storms arise,

I soon take shelter in shame

I believe there will be better days

Than this one, I know they are

Coming soon, that’s when I’ll fight

With all my might to keep

A faithful heart

5/96

American Dreamer

Standing in the breeze

Waiting in the rain

Swimming in the sea

And his dreams carry him away

And he smiles at this beautiful day

Someday soon he’ll take up with a wife

Sometime later they’ll build them a house

A child or two will follow soon after

All the world will be filled with laughter

Everything will surely change

All grown up isn’t it strange?

He’s excited yet nervous

Curious and content

 

From Becca’s graduation

5/96

Middle School Graduation

All lined up without a clue

They’ve reached that half way point so soon

No more recess, no more naps

No more lunch boxes, no more bus passes

They’ve got their hopes set high

And they’ll find their niche

In junior high of all places

I can see their shiny braces

Smiling adolescence, is what they’ll find

While leaving their childhood far behind

 

 

From “My Utmost for His Highest” 5/23/96

Abandon Ship

I’ve been out on these rough water

For quite sometime

The waves crash against the walls

The wind flutters at the sail

The boards creak

The lightning flashes

The rolling oceans are always there

Ever present

Calling to me

The storm…the worries

The ship…the life

But there is a voice in the distance

Ever present

Calling to me

Holy Spirit, Holy God, Holy Savior

“I want you to abandon ship

give your life up, give up the cares

of this world, and come, come

simply to follow me, your loving

Savior.”

 

Selection for ‘98 JSU poetry reading: The Poet

I pitch my tent in discontent

I walk beside a noisy stream

In search of something beautiful

In the loneliest of days, I find

Nothing inside or out

 

The journey from abstract to concrete

Is a difficult one, when all my thoughts

Are scattered and fragmented

I would like to allow myself some

Breathing room, some way of knowing

My reflection better, but not before I spin

Circles and lines on pulp’s product

 

I would like to erase myself from the page

And leave you with vivid description:

An enormous blossom, a dark vast sea

Instead I always end up entangled in a dusty

Chalkboard’s scribbling

 

Shakespearean Sonnet

Widower

In my mind, your fading pictures still dance

With beautiful smile and loving dark eyes.

The memories of you scatter and prance.

Is thinking of you, so often, unwise?

My days sometimes get lost in thoughts of you

You and your beauty are always with me.

I recall little things you used to do.

In my heart and soul, you will always be.

Our time together, entirely too brief.

Flower, friend, lover, I will not forget

Of all the love you gave before the grief.

There was remorse and heartbreak when you went.

Some say, “I am young, get on with this life.”

But I will stay home and think of my wife.

Twenty-two journal entries from Ms. Methvin’s creative writing class 

 

Nature’s Horror

The fire dances on the candle’s stage

Through the windows I see raindrops

Splashing to the ground

A short measure of silence gathers in the room

But thunder’s voice interrupts

With replies to the flashes above

Powerless to storm’s wrath

The home waits for the wind’s embrace

 

Void of hesitation

Bent with fury

The cyclone stirs

Back

Then right

Then left

And with rage the devil twister

Bucks forward, closer to the tremble home

 

On its way to the welcome mat,

The tall dirty cloud lifted an oak

And played with the tree’s firestone

Up and down like a yo-yo

 

Fixed on fear, eyes open to the terror,

I stood inside the wind’s delight

The black cloud is spinning, digging, and pounding

Earth outside at the edge of the porch

Why does this nature’s horror stand?

 

 

Be Wide Eyed

The phantom firefly beats golden wings

The frog squats on a lily carousel

A bumblebee streaks to the sickle path

And the scene is still incomplete

Cotton balls for clouds

Day’s bright star screams its rays

A warm day of summer is a lazy maker

Young lovers seem to dance as they move

Down a friendly path through nature’s work

The sound of water murmurs with a bed

Of rough flints in the distance

The water’s conversation coupled with common curiosity

Carries him and her from the cut path

And closer to the brook’s babble

She is weary of the rocks and the weeds,

He is encouraged by delicacies of the forest

And his love for her

The two emerge from grass’ high

To find a sight of wonder

Wildflowers gather round a little waterway

Rocks: red, green, black, and bronze

Wink at the spectators from under the crystal stream

Beauty, warm, sensitive,

Beckon at the two

Saying “be wide eyed”

 

Janitor

I mop the floors

I wash the windows

When you leave a mess

I stay behind

 

There is something about a dirty carpet

Something about the stains within

I can not seem to put my finger on it

Even though I have all night to ponder the thought

 

I use the buffer

I put on rubber gloves

I might resent you

Because you have places to go

 

It is nice to know

I haven’t a boss man

Except for the absent-minded supervisor

It’s nice to know I work for a company

That still believes in holiday bonuses

 

I have a wife

I have three children

I have a house across town

It might not seem like much to those I clean up for

But it sure means the world to me

Released

Down a lonely road,

On the town’s edge,

The birds sing louder

The world is much brighter

 

Trees line the single lane’s orange churt drive

Like militant soldiers awaiting orders

Or

Like elementary school students holding hands

In the schoolyard awaiting recess

 

In rearview reflection,

The dust is stirred

Clouding the distance

The air outside climbs into the convertible

And invades thoughts of deadlines, dreads,

Things I forgot, and things I remembered

 

It is only the road and the wheels

The sky and the trees

They are worth my time and my day’s attention

I’ll miss yesterday tomorrow

Back at my desk to the so called important

 

The view from here is sweet and simple

I have found a place of peace near chaos

Here is a world of easy living

With no one to tell me it is time

For this or that

Here I have found release

 

 

One Bedroom One Bath

Blanket blue

Fresh paint on the walls

A little screen sits upright above the alphabet board

On a snap together desk in the corner

It is nice for solitaire and term paper typing

Screen number two stands beside Mr. PC

The junk box

Only half as useful as its little brother

For time vacuuming

Complementing the RCA are all man’s basic needs:

Video cassette recorder, six disc music maker,

And even a game box for the rainy days

 

For doors encircle my tiny A.P.T.

Door number one:

Dirty bathroom

Dirty sink

Dirty shower

Grit and grime

Shower radio

In a world wired for sound

Door number two

Kitchenette

Two can barely share

The space of this place

Junk food a heart collapser

And only two of the food group’s four

A typical student’s supermarket shopper center

Door number three

Crowded closet

Castles of dirty laundry

Door number four

The outside world

Where the air is free

Quite a humble abode

 

Opened Up

Blue smoke floats lonely until invisible

The noise of a tug boat’s bell echoes its ring

Amberjack and flounder’s scent mix with the salty air

The faces of the young men vary in color

Ranging from white to black with peach,

Yellow, and brown in between

 

The day began with high hopes, eggs and bacon,

Packed lunches, and a race to the docks

The fathers and their pride set out for

The fifth annual father-son fishery

 

 

Hazleton

Five-twenty a.m., twenty-seven degrees

Outside is like ice, hard and cold

Through a crack in the window pane

The street appears broken too

 

The frost on the ground has not yet sparkled

No light except the bulb burning on Byrd Street

The orange belly will soon begin to rise

My wife, an angel, calls for me

 

“Breakfast?”

She is a beauty in the morning

I’d confess it, but she’d say I’m bluffing

“I’ll grab something a little later.”

 

A kiss and out the door

Cold sings but Chevy’s heat nurses me

The drive is short and quiet

Town is ghostly this early

 

Pull it in park with the other factory men

I’m walking in, wishing I was walking out

My body’s here, but the rest is in Key Largo

Pulling on the mouth of a blue marlin

 

Someday the wife and I

Will take the time off

Lofty beaches, room service,

A few more years and we’ll be there

 

 

December 31st

Sky high, the Taiwan fire burst above

Sprinkles, sparks rain down following the coca-cola missiles

“Happy New Year!” belches out from a slurping citizen

a twelve year cousin’s cousin runs barefoot in the dark

“He’s holding a Marlboro!” protest an auntie

“Just for lighting firecrackers.” barks back the younster

 

The front yard is a sight with half a dozen energy balls

Of young blood encircling the evergreen

Their sparklers in hand dance every which way,

But only a few seconds until disappointment will strike

When the light sticks fade out

 

Jumping jacks, fountain brights, whistlers,

And blackcat rockets now lie dead

On the cold stiff grass

The celebration is closing out

The 3 – 2 – 1 said hello – goodbye

 

Roasted cardboard and gunpowder’s scent

Are all that is left of new year’s night

  

 

Blake

A man of the past

We speak of presently

A walk that was unique

He paved a way to freedom

Freedom of the body and soul

An artist intellectual

An English original

Moved by circumstance

He stood in the way of the current tradition

A bookmaker, paint brusher, mind waker,

His woven ideas, cross over and under

Not everyone’s favorite, said to be difficult

Respected by the wise, classic poetry

The many questions, the subtle answers

Know of innocence

Of experience

Know of worlds uncharted

Of imagination unimagined

The uncharted lands he waved his hand at

Imagination encircling genius

Imagination almost threatening

He brought a new world of artistry

To those who search for new thought

Never jumbling or in a hurry

His words float

Verse skips

Emotion pump: Blake

 

Noble Savage: Stan

Beyond the city lights, the country communities, and the pastures’ flats

Up an Alabama mountain side, through a

Thickets thick, lives Stan

Age fifty-four, you’d probably guess him forty-five

A sandy red beard connecting his red hair

Stan’s simple; lives a meek life; there’s nothing

He needs he can’t find within the world

Of his trees

He keeps company with few, but every

So often he might spend a little time

With raccoons, birds, deer, and

Sings on a stage of dirt with these as his audience

The noble savage may be crazy to some but

The wisdom he’s acquired is straight from the earth

No TV or newsman to tell him what’s wrong with the world

Stan makes up his mind about things through watching the sunrise and set again each day

He watches the green on the ground and the blue in the sky

He’s housed in a log box, nothing the syrup’s label

Stan’s electricity works only twelve hours each day

It’s name is the sun, sits high above

Most mornings ’till five-thirty or six

The water supply pours in not by city or state

It’s found not far from Stan’s street

Down his pine needle path, to a clear

Water moss covered dream

So say hello to Stan if you see him

Someday, but don’t be sad if he

Doesn’t reply when you wave

 

 

Exploration

On my feet, parallel with the creek’s stillness

The water wrinkles and rocks as told by the summer breeze

A family of mosquitoes square dance in the warmth of the air

Wild strawberries sway against uneven blades of green

 

So I take a seat

Watch these simple movements

With stick in hand

I open the window

Of the ants’ castle

The ants explode in a frenzy

Of “what to do?!, what to do?!.”

 

To my feet again I apologize to the castle’s keepers

A stroll deep into the forest’s magnificence

Gets me surrounded by chocolate and emerald

I examine every leaf, tree, rock, and crawling creature

All of these pieces of life seem to always enjoy the day

So why can’t we?

 

 

Rainforest Visitation

He flies high in the haze of immense forest

The blue on his feathered belly is damp from a flooded nest

As he swishes floatedly through the rusty branches

The sun breaks out from a cell of smoky clouds

Looking for a gentle flower of a bird to show the way,

The wandering bird entertains two silent bug-eyed frogs

As he shifts from high to low above the lily pond

The frogs croak to beckon at the bird of blue,

But no response is given to the happy happers

 

The flies in the air spiral at the sight of a leg

The green on the spiky microscopic hairs of the insects

Stand up in fear of the enormous roaming creature

Above a human chomps an apple’s red and

Listens to nature’s nosiness. Nothing about

The mid-sized mammal makes the fly family comfortable

Searching for a place of retreat the flies scan the distance

The group sets out as nomads to the next block of

Earth’s ups and downs. The journey from mankind’s

Reach lends peace to the souls of the frightened flies

 

  

Water Within

In the bright lights, the beautiful women rise to the occasions

In the water they dance, sweeping across blue silence

They’re innocent in their silence, they’re at a stand still

I listen to the water splash, to the spray of jets

Underwater, in the stillness of gravity’s nothing

 

A little bit of everything. A little bit of another day. Another 24. With droplets on her brow, she sweeps of the surface

She circles the pool like a light-bug at dawn

When she rises from the water, like a silhouette of 10

Up the ladder, in slow motion, I wait for her to speak

 

A single sunray crashes through the narrow clouded window

A single word falls from her lips, those soft red lips

I’m mystified with her gaze; I’m broken by her nothings

What little bit she says keeps me wrapped up with what

She wants, doesn’t want, does, or doesn’t do

 

“Why not another time?” she asked me with distressed tone

She’s tired of being tired, she’s hungry for unknown foods

When she takes a drink form the glass, I’m at a loss

The way she holds a cup, it’s something I cannot understand

The way she waits for me in the cold of winter

 

Out of Place

A deep darkness of skin so noticeable in this Massachusetts’ winter 

The native shuffles down Lyon Avenue with a shiftiness in his eyes

I imagine he’s from some island somewhere, where the waves 

Crash hard on a thick coastline. I imagine he’s lost

In this big little city. The long black trench he wears

Stands firm on the broadness of each blade. A bright

Balloon sun charges over the scene, but brings no warmth

To the brown tan man. When the sign flashes “DON’T WALK”,

He ignores the invention and continues his shuffle

To the next sidewalk corner. I imagine he’s lost

 

He’d fit better on Hawaii’s North Shore this time of year

Catapulting across ocean breaks near fitful floors

Of coral reef and tropical dwellers below the water’s surface

The cascade of a surfboard would trample down a pipeliner’s dream

That’s where he should be, across the Pacific Blue to a chain

Of United Islands. But he’s here in Cambridge.

Cambridge of all places; the man stands in Cambridge

 

 

Happy As A Boy Can Be

A rainbow above a country pond springs up and over

Shaking hands with the clouds. The yellow grain sways

East to west on its’ toothpick thicked post. The parade

Of dairy cattle dance toward the southern most fence,

While a single butterfly shimmies across the sloping meadow

There’s nothing like a crystal shower on days of warm like this

There’s nothing like a cup of purity form the well’s depths

Ma and Pa sit satisfied on the old green house’s threshold

Ma’s peeling taters and Pa’s snoozing a conversation with himself

I’m sprawled out on the horses’ dinner plate  

A single hay stick pokes me in the shoulder

Keeping me just out of reach from a country boy’s nap

So I lie here, half conscious, proud of the situation

Happy as a boy can be

(Funny…it’s a New Day)

Standing up like fans

At the ballpark, each of

The trees gently rocks as

These passing winds chat

With the branches.

An unfamiliar frost has

Settled on the ground;

Causing the fields

Of melon green to glimmer

In the morning sunlight.

Beams of fire yellow and

Orange

Thunder down from

A cloudless royal sky causing

The diamonds to dance in the

Crystal dew

 

UNTITLED

I just finished fighting with sin

I’m left on the ground bruised and burnt-out

I hear the cries outside this little room

Searching for more

I just finished being beat half to death

You were there behind me

Waiting for me to call on you

Waiting for me to cry for your’ holding hands

But no words left my mouth

No cry for victory came from my heart

I folded under the pressure

I did not ask for the spirit’s embrace

 

Somewhere between now and then

I stopped letting you in

Why? , have I stopped letting you in?

Have I? Why have I?

 

Carry me to You

Lift me from the ground with you fresh embrace

Replace my sorrow with the joy of a new creation

I will be your soldier

You never left me

I was afraid

I was in doubt

You’ve brought me back to completeness

I’ve longed for

Praise to you for your amazing

Embrace

It can startle – it can bring you back – it has brought me back – You

 

REASON WHY

I was late

But you waited for me

I was alone

But you gave me a visit

I was down

But you tried to make me smile

And now here I am

Trying to find a reason

Why you love me

IMAGINE

Imagine peaceful people covering the globe

As far as the eye could see…smiling faces

You and me

We’d stand and wait for peace

We’d stand until all the captives were released

Standing

Even in the pouring rain (a warm freshness)

Waiting

In a midnight silence ( when all is quiet)

 

 

LONELY DREAMER

Tired from chasing a lonely dream

An idea’s reminder to stay awake

In and out the air goes

Tired of being tired

 

What have I found through all my travels?

That the King of kings and the Lord of lords

Has a purpose for me and many other things

The paradox:

God uses imperfect people to fulfill

His perfect plan

 

NEVER ALONE

Never alone, ’cause He’s always near me

I’m seeking a purpose in the mist of uncertainties

In need of guidance, I am loved

By a glorious God despite my insufficiencies

More of You, and less of me

Please take away my inequities

 

1st Thes. 3 : I’m asking for strength and courage for you this is what you need, it is true. I’m praying to God our Father; I fear the devil will come your way.

 

EVERYTHING

So often you’ve found me curled up in the corner (with my eyes shut tight)

In the corner of the world in which I live (this corner, I live in)

Then I open my eyes and see that you’ve turned on the lights

Once again (you’ve turned on the lights,,,again)

[        F        C                 G

[Your love shines through everything(everything,everywhere)(everytime, everyday)

[Your love glimmers in my little stream on the water rocks that flow slow

[down the water (these problems in my life I see)

[Your lve picks me up and carries me far away

[(far away from all my shame) (from my pain, my disgrace, away from my sin)

[your love shines through everything

[everything (everything)

 

CHANGING

Castles of sand sink quickly in the water’s waves

Turned around too many times in my spin of sin

Ready to collapse at the sight of this bright light

I stand, knees wobbling, tears flowing, I stand

{it’s a hard movement

{it’s a tough task

{the change must undoubtedly be made

{while the world still undoubtedly twist & turn

 

Psalm 89:9

          Thou rulest the raging of the sea: when the waves thereof arise, thou stillest them

 

          Still these raging waters in my heart and my mind. Rule over them. And still this rage. Thank you Lord. Amen.

 

 

You’ve heard our voices…we sing in praise

’cause we love you, yes we do

You see our failures and all our mixed emotions,

But you love us, yes you do

Love is the only reason why

It’s the only thing that matters

In this life

 

Forget about yesterday

Forget all your moments of defeat

God wants to forgive you

All you have to do is ask

Tomorrow is a new day

Tomorrow is the time to press on

 

Hello Mr. Chameleon, trapped in your little forest

You do so well to blend in with the colors

In the darkness of a blackened bush

Or in the grasses’ green

I once was like you

Like you

Beady-eyed

Fleet footed

On-the-run

I fled from the pressures of everyday

 

In the crystal sky, the clouds scatter across an array of blue

These heavens settle on the silhouette of the distant horizons

While the leafless trees with all their different personalities

Rest on the shoulders of the river bank

As I ponder on this beautiful creation and listen to the voice

Of nature, I am reminded of the creator and His power

He is the artist of life, the maker of all that is magnificent

His love is displayed in every cloud, every tree, every sunset

And in every moment of peace

 

You stand alone

You wait for a memory

Remember your self

Who you choose to be

At a time when fear was all you cradled

You stand alone

Standing still

Under a moon, full and pale

Subtle cream shining overhead

Emotions of many colors reach for hope you cradled

 

 

Into a raging crowd he journeys

With many questions on the mind

Doesn’t it make you wonder and doesn’t it make you sigh

How the chance we taking

Can complicate this life

I hear a knock at the door

And I look up to see who’s there, and through the window

I see a stranger

He’s looking up, up in the air

I say hello, can I help you and I introduce myself

He says, “Funny, sometimes how the sky can be so very clear.”

“I know you don’t really know me.”

“But I thought I’d stop and share; I saw you through the window.”

“You seem like you could use a listening ear.”

He sees the world. It’s not a place that we’re gonna be very long.

 

Inside my mind

I’m all alone

I’ve been left behind

I’ll stay and roam

Reading your every gesture

Feeling this feeling

Moving in subtle movements

Inside a broken grin

What

 

Thoughts on my old friend Jeff Vernon

A brother bridged not by blood, but by a sometimes stronger force

A friendship that reaches across the globe

He spends his nights in Korea, a place far from home

Myself : I dwell on a campus

                            

                

Did you hear something in the wind that suggest we are all in for bad weather? I thought I heard some sound of night that made me shiver. The friends of mine that watch me closely, listen loosely, and avoid the depths of conversation have always nearly waited. Candle fire is all we see in the coldest of winter darkness. Forever I will wish for misty mornings and sand rather than snow. Forever I will wish.

 

UNFINISHED                words & music by Jeff Ford 

 

6 / 26 / 96

F# – G – A

The Day

My attention is diverted to the broader path

All of life appears much easier:

(the way of the wondering soul)

I truly know the depth of their despair

It may sound funny, but I’ve been there

In a place where peace cannot stand still

In a place where good intentions are not for real

 

So now I’m blanketed by His Holy Spirit

I’ll be stumbling less and seeking more

I’ve come to realize that God’s not keeping score

It’s amazing what He’ll do for you

There is truly nothing He cannot do

If you’re listening to these words I say

Be assured that today can be the day

 

 

8 / 4 / 96

Eph. 4:5-6

D – G – C – G

Only One

There is only One

He’s in everything

And He is everywhere

 

One Lord of Creation

He’s the story of my life

All of my words and deeds

Will glorify the Lamb

 

One faith that we must live by

We believe in the Son of God

His name is Jesus Christ

And He forgives us and shows us life

 

One cleansing in the water

To die from this cold nature

We must call on Him

Only Him

 

Jesus, You are the only One

Yes, You are the only Son of God

 

9 / 16 / 97

Em – G

A – power chord 3 – power chord 4

F – C – Am – C

Untitled

A man saved by grace

All the lies have been erased

My Spirit renewed

Here, under a darkened sky

 

Sometimes this voice

speaks so clearly

And You, You’ve crushed

These idols I’ve made

 

And You take my hand and say

This is who you are

 

 

2 – Untitled

Slide down the slide

Run up the stairs

Feeling my words

You don’t understand

 

Run into me

Found out I care

You can see the truth

I don’t want to bear

 

  

C – Em – C – Em – D – G – D – G

3 – Untitled

And You move in this heart of mine

The scales fall and I’m no longer blind

You change a worthless sinner like me

Into a guy with a ministry

Em in G – C in G – G – ½ G – Em in G

Capo on 3

He Don’t Belong to Me

I serve a God who loves me

I know a God who restores me

He don’t belong to me,

But I belong to Him

I serve a God who loves me

 

 

Am – E

C – G – D

Chased

Chased out of a whim

Of anxious ambition (why won’t you listen?)

In an unexpected quiet moment

 

The call crawls over

My common sense

And shakes away all the pain

I have lived in

 

Better of with a Savior

Something different

When I waited for the One

Who could forgive my sin

 

Child of light…

Everyone…

 

G – C – D – G

Em – C – Em – C

G – C –D – G

What I Need

Lord you are everything

Everything to me

Lord I love to talk to you

Because I know You hear me

 

And I don’t know what the future brings

And I don’t know what’s soon to come

 

I just know that I need you to be

Forever Savior, forever friend

  

 

G – D – C

E – Am – C – D

Sinner’s Prayer

I believe in Jesus

I believe He died for my sins

I am a sinner

And I confess that to You

 

So take me

And hold me

Mold me … mold me … mold me

 

Son of God come dwell in my soul

Son of God come make me whole

 

 

C – C – D – E – E

Gotta Be More

Without a pillow to lay his head

And only a bench for a bed

The lines on his face give us a vague

Map of his seventy -year history

The dirt on his skin gives us a slight

Idea of his misery

Can I help him?

Why can’t I help him?

Some say we’ve got to feed the hungry

Some say we’ve got to heal the sick

Some say you’ve got to make your money

Some say you’ve got to find success

Is it me or is it him?

Less for them and more for me

Or less for me and more for them

It has gotta be more for them

There has gotta be more for them

There’s gotta be more (gotta be more)

I drive around in my sadan

And all around town there they stand

Looking for hope, looking for love

They don’t even know but they’re

Looking for Christ

 

For my Precious Love

Sometimes it’s hard to be

all that I should be

You are my wife

You are my jewel

God has blessed me

with the wonder

in your eyes

and  the

tenderness

in your heart

I love you

My prayer is that

I will be all that

I should be